Knott’s Scary Farm

Well, I had been to Knott’s Berry Farm, but never the Scary Farm. Every October, Knotts transforms its park into a goulish realm, complete with fog machines, elaborate mazes, and live shows. All of my friends who had gone liked it, and when I had an opportunity to go, I jumped on it. Our floor PA, Jasmine, organized a floor event which actually ended up being a hall event. She planned on having Dykstra 2 alone go to Knotts, but we ended up having all of Dykstra. So off we went on a yellow school bus, with 80 kids yelling at once playing annoying bus games. Ah it was like elementary school.

However, it was a little fun for me being on the bus, riding on the familiar 91 and 405 freeways, almost like it was a trip back into the past. For those of you that don’t know, I used to live in Orange County before I moved up north to Marin. I actually didn’t mind the ride that much.

When we got there, I noticed that the Chicken Dinner Restaurant (yes, that’s the name) was offering a midnight buffet. I had a little desire to go there and experience their delicious fried chicken once again, but in the end I missed out.

The first thing I saw in the park was the live show, which spoofed horror movies and current stars. I thought it was pretty entertaining to see the cast of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon get mauled by Jason. Even the band girl from American Pie couldn’t hold her own.

After the live show, we hit our first maze of the night. Man was it, and all of them, impressive. The first maze was a tribute to Hollywood horror flicks, with the Cryptkeeper presiding over the lobby of a movie theater (actually a converted food stand). I thought he was a robot. Actually, he was real. Inside, Mark and I were assaulted by numerous movie villains, from Jason to Chuckie. Mark got a couple of good scares. One time, his attention was diverted by a villain whose name I cannot recall. After that, he turned around, only to be face to face with the blade of the killer from Scream. It was great. He yelped. A couple of the other guys got me pretty well, but not as bad as Mark got it. I was amazed at how massive the mazes were. You spent 15 minutes in each one.

Knotts was pretty crowded for the park at night, and when I went on the first ride, Ghostrider, I ended up waiting in line over an hour. My friend Mark, who I hung around with at the park, got impatient as well. However, I remembered that Ghostrider was a good wooden coaster, and it still was. The first drop is still very steep as is the last one. You get thrown around on the last curves of the ride like crazy, and it was very fun.

After Ghostrider, I believe I went on Jaguar, which is fun but not as good as it used to be. Of course, Knotts slowed down Jaguar when it made too much noise. When the ride was actually fast, it could be heard across the park. Now, it’s a kiddie ride. However, after Jaguar, Mark and I went on Montezooma’s [sic] Revenge, the simple single loop coaster complimented by two ends of track that stick hundreds of feet into the air. For you physics nerds, Montezooma’s Revenge is actually the most intense ride in the park. In the loop, depending on where you sit, you can feel up to 6 G’s of force. That’s pretty damn good, I think. I ended up going on it twice, once in the middle and once in the back. In the middle you feel the most force in the loop. However, the back is more fun because you go much higher on the last peak of the ride, where you are forced to look straight down. It’s a rush.

After those two, we went to the Underground maze, which was short but impressive. It was very loud, with heavy metal music. All of the guys in costume looked like people at a TOOL concert. I like the revolving cylinder they had there, which was a bit hyponotic. You had to walk through it. At one point, the maze was completely black, and I got stuck. After about a minute or two, I realized that I had to go left…d’oh!

Next came Boomerang. Of course, Mark and I had to sit in the back. If you’ve never been on Boomerang before, the beginning is the scariest part of the ride. They crank you all the way up the track into the air, a couple of hundred feet high. Then they drop you. You go screaming into a corkscrew loop then a couple of circular loops. After that, you hit the track that rises into the air and go through the whole thing again backwards. It’s a great ride.

After Boomerang, I went on a ride with a nautical name (that I can’t remember). It is a green ride with marine designs that takes you into the air and spins you around while going through loops. Essentially you twist in a corkscrew while revolving in a circle. That ride is intense. At one point, the ride stops at the top of its loop then starts turning over and over. It’s really creepy. You are suspended about a hundred feet in the air and you are doing barrel rolls. At the end of the ride, it does the same thing, this time at the bottom of the loop. However, it stops while you are completely upside down. Man did my head get messed up.

At some point in time, we did go in Malice in Wonderland, which was totally awesome. It looked like the house in The Game, decked out in blacklights and glow-in-the-dark tempora paint. All of the Alice characters were there, including the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat. It was massive, spanning at least ten rooms. I think it took us twenty minutes to get through it.

Finally, Mark and I went on Bigfoot Rapids (a water ride) at 12:30 PM. It was sweet. They turned off the waterfalls, thankfully, and we didn’t get too wet. I got splashed on my jacket a bit, but Mark got his pants all wet. On the ride back he kept complaining. D’oh!

I had a blast at Knotts and encourage everyone to go to it next year. I think the night I went was the last night, but it may run through tonight as well. Definitely go to it if you have a chance.

Very interesting – thanks for the scoop!

well i would like to say that you guys need to make it scarier.your monsters are the same ones every year well thats what i seen.The mazes should be longer and darker.

Oh and a word to the wise if you wana go this year go during bare bones night. If you go on a saturday or sunday with a holoday after. murrrrhhm, be prepared to be satanding in hour long lines for everything even the food lol. If you go on bare bones night or weekday excluding friday you will have a blast.

Hey i went and i am a teenager. I thought it was great. Ofcourse I was the only one to cry that night, but I still enjoyed it. When we went through the Assylumn, I was crying the whole time and one of the people escorted me out of the maze. My friends were laughing hard when they got out and I was waiting at the exit!lol. The other scariest thing was the clown maze. I laughed at first, but dude it was scary twords the end! I suggest that if you are a teen and you go, don’t go alone! We left one of our friends as a joke and he was scared. Lucky we all have cell phones! lol

cool. sounds fun! but don’t they close big-foot at the haunt?